Keep Going...the beautiful path is just right in front of you

I believe in changing mindset is where you going to change your life.

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How Smart People Handle Difficult People

This is a really interesting article, for the last few weeks, I m busy either people push my button and at the end of the day. It seems waste of time and full of frustration. However, get know how to deal with difficult people is to get out of the unnecessary argument and being happier.

So I would like to share the below article:

Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus -- an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success -- when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.

Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your non-profit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function, you’re bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it. It's the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions -- the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with difficult people -- caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it's negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome or just plain craziness, difficult people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90 percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize difficult people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep difficult people at bay.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that smart people employ when dealing with difficult people, what follows are some of the best. To deal with difficult people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize.

1. They set limits. 

Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.

You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

2. They rise above. 

Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behavior truly goes against reason. So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix? The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos -- only the facts.

3. They stay aware of their emotions. 

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Think of it this way -- if a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight. When you find yourself with a coworker who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.

4. They establish boundaries. 

This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve found your way to Rise Above a person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. For example, even if you work with someone closely on a project team, that doesn’t mean that you need to have the same level of one-on-one interaction with them that you have with other team members.

You can establish a boundary, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will.

5. They don’t die in the fight. 

Smart people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

6. They don't focus on problems -- only solutions. 

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress.

When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you're going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.

7. They don’t forget. 

Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Smart people are unwilling to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they let them go quickly and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

8. They squash negative self-talk. 

Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs.

9. They get some sleep. 

I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, so that you wake up alert and clear-headed. Your self-control, attention and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough -- or the right kind -- of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative and proactive in your approach to toxic people, giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.

10. They use their support system. 

It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person. Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work who is on their team, rooting for them and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.

Bringing It All Together

Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you’re going to have to pass some tests. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people. Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail. Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques for dealing with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of ill effects.

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Keep Going...

This quote is amazing!Keep going where difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Let's move on and focus on what you want and you will find your way out.

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LY

4 Straightforward Steps to Success

 Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.

I truly agreed on item 4 below, it is not easy to change oneself however it takes time if you have the persistent and consistency to do that! List all the changes and you must work on it to make it happen. Change such able to control your emotion, smile more often, be patient, time management and able to speak up and etc.  A small change it is also an achievement. Be positive and stay positive!

1. Collect good ideas.

My mentor taught me to keep a journal when I was 25 years old. It’s the best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way. And that inspiration will be passed on to my children and my grandchildren.

If you hear a good health idea, capture it, write it down. Then on a cold wintry evening or a balmy summer night, go back through your journal. Dive back into the ideas that changed your life, the ideas that saved your marriage, the ideas that bailed you out of hard times, the ideas that helped you become successful. That’s valuable, going back over the pages of ideas you gathered over the years, reminiscing, reminding yourself. So be a collector of good ideas, of experiences, for your business, for your relationships, for your future.

It is challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Don’t trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal.

2. Have good plans.

Building a life, building anything, is like building a house; you need to have a plan. What if you just started laying bricks and somebody asks, “What are you building?” You put down the brick you’re holding and say, “I have no idea.”

So, here’s the question: When should you start building the house? Answer: As soon as you have it finished. It’s simple time management.

Don’t start the day until it is pretty well finished—at least the outline of it. Leave some room to improvise, leave some room for extra strategies, but finish it before you start it. Don’t start the week until you have it finished. Lay it out, structure it, put it to work. The same goes for the month ahead—don’t start it until you have a plan in place.

And, the big one, don’t start the year until it is finished on paper. It’s not a bad idea, toward the end of the year, to sit down with your family for the personal plans, to sit down in your business for the professional plans, to sit down with your financial advisor to map out money plans. Plan out your calendar, your game plan, for all of life’s moving parts.

The reason why most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don’t have it well designed.

3. Give yourself time.

It takes time to build a career. It takes time to make changes. It takes time to learn, grow, change, develop and produce. It takes time to refine philosophy and activity. So give yourself time to learn, time to start some momentum, time to finally achieve.

I remember when Mama was teaching me a little bit about the piano. “Here is the left hand scale,” she said. I got that; it was easy. “Here is the right hand scale.” I got that, too. Then she said, “Now we are going to play both hands at the same time.” “Well, how can you do that?” I asked. Because one at a time was easy... but two the same time? But I got to where I could play the scales with both hands. “Now we are going to read the music and play with both hands,” she said. You can’t do all that, I thought. But you know, sure enough I looked at the music, looked at each hand, a little confused at first, but finally I grasped it. Then I remember the day when Mama said, “Now we are going to watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands. Now that is going too far! I thought. How could one person possibly do all that? By giving myself time to master one skill before we went to the next, I got to where I could watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands.

Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.

4. Change yourself.

Learn to solve problems—business problems, family problems, financial problems, emotional problems. The best way to treat a challenge? As an opportunity to grow. Change if you have to, modify if you must, discard an old philosophy that wasn’t working well for a new one.

The best phrase my mentor ever gave me: “Mr. Rohn, if you will change, everything will change for you.” I took that to heart, and sure enough, the more I improved, the more everything improved for me.

You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

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Shared by: LY

4 Techniques Successful People Use to Make a Positive First Impression

Creative a positive first impression:

If you are not sure what to do then just go ahead and follow the below:

1. Master the art of the handshake.

Your father probably discussed with you the importance of having a good handshake, but did you know that handshakes really are a big determining factor when it comes to first impressions?

In one study, University of Illinois researchers used MRI scans to monitor the brain activity of participants as they watched videos of people interacting in business situations. The researchers found that a positive “social evaluation” occurs in the brain when handshakes are present.

Asked what the most important takeaway would be for business professionals, the study’s co-leader didn't hesitate in her response.

“I would tell them to be aware of the power of a handshake,” University of Illinois researcher Sanda Dolcos reported. “We found that it not only increases the positive effect toward a favorable interaction, but it also diminishes the impact of a negative impression. Many of our social interactions may go wrong for one reason or another, and a simple handshake preceding them can give us a boost and attenuate the negative impact of possible misunderstandings.”

Sounds good. But how you give a handshake matters more than the simple act of offering your hand to someone you meet. A good handshake is firm and dry, lasts two or three seconds and is accompanied by eye contact and a smile.

2. Get your visual appearance right.

What you wear and how you look really does matter to people. According to studies conducted by researchers in the U.K. and Turkey, something as simple as the suit a man wears can have a direct impact on how people view his character. In the study, 300 participants were exposed to images of a man and woman. In some of the pictures, the man wore a custom-tailored suit. In other pictures, he wore an “off the rack” generic version.

After being exposed to these images for just three seconds, participants overwhelmingly judged the man in the tailored suit more favorably. And they didn’t just say he looked better -- they actually rated him as more successful, confident and likely wealthier. This speaks to the importance of getting your clothing right.

3. Always carry a business card.

Business cards . .  . are they even useful anymore? With the rise of social networking, search engines, text messaging and email, it’s easy to feel as if business cards are a thing of the past. However, this is a grave mistake. While business cards may no longer serve their original purpose, they remain an emblem of professionalism and responsibility.

When you present someone with a business card, you're showing that you’re prepared and professional. You’ve taken the time to design, print and carry a card with you. While the person you’re meeting can search your name on LinkedIn, the fact that you carry a card is what matters most.

Not all business cards are created equal, however. When designing a card, carefully consider the selection of cardstock and the image you’re presenting. A thicker stock may be more expensive, but there’s something about holding a sturdy card that leaves a good impression.

4. Become a small-talk aficionado.

Small talk. A lot of people despise small talk, but we live in a world where conversation plays an important role in making impressions. If you want to make positive first impressions wherever you go, you have to strike a good balance between not saying enough and speaking too much.

“Ideally, small talk will uncover common interests, business alignments, the six degrees that separate you, potential need for your product or service and basically whether or not you enjoy each other’s company,” corporate trainer Allison Graham wrote in Fast Company. “The goal is not to become best friends or a new client on the spot.”

If small talk isn’t your thing, the best skill you can pick up is the ability to ask good questions and listen. Once you get the other person talking, you become more comfortable and can occasionally interject a few lines of your own.

 Link: Click Here

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Try something today

Start with today to make some accomplishment. Every decision changes your life, I believe if you put in the effort every day it will soon derive to where you want to be. Trust yourself is the most important power of success.

Happy Sunday and enjoy to your fullest!

Shared by LY

5 exercises to train your brain for happiness and success

I believe that happy brain will bring you to successful path. “Laughter is contagious”

Here are five exercises that will train your brain for happiness and success:

I believe that happy brain will bring you to successful path. “Laughter is contagious”

Here are five exercises that will train your brain for happiness and success:

1. Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving

Thinking about strategies that would help you overcome an obstacle is helpful, but imagining yourself unable to tolerate pain isn't productive. Whenever you find yourself thinking about something for an extended time, take a minute to think whether you're ruminating or problem-solving.

If you're actively solving or preventing problems, keep processing. But, if you're simply rehashing things that already happened or making catastrophic predictions about things you can't control, change the channel. Get up and do something to get your mind off the issue and keep your brain focused on more productive activities.

2. Give yourself the same advice you'd give to a trusted friend

If you're like most people, there's a good chance you're overly critical of yourself. But beating yourself up and magnifying your mistakes will only drag you down.

Studies have linked self-compassion to everything from improved psychological well-being and better body image to enhanced self-worth and increased motivation. So make it a habit to speak to yourself in the same way you'd speak to a trusted friend.

3. Label your emotions

Most people have an aversion to talking about or showing their feelings. As a result, many people have become quite distanced from their feelings, which makes it hard for them to even recognize how they're feeling in any given moment.

And when adults do label their feelings, they often do it in an indirect manner. Rather than saying, "I felt sad," someone might say, "I had a lump in my throat," or, "My eyes got watery." Or, instead of saying, "I am really nervous," someone might be more included to say, "I have butterflies in my stomach."

Spend a few minutes every day acknowledging your emotional state. Label your feelings and consider how those emotions are likely to affect your decisions.

Whether you're feeling sad about something in your personal life, or you're worried about something going on in the office, your emotions will spill over into other areas of your life if you aren't aware of them.

4. Balance your emotions with logic

Whether you're faced with a tough financial decision, or you're experiencing a family dilemma, you'll make your best decisions when you're able to balance your emotions with logic. When your emotions are running high, take steps to increase your rational thinking.

The best way to balance out your emotions is to create a list of the pros and cons of your choices. Reading over that list can help take some of the emotion out of the decision and equip you to make the best decisions.

5. Practice gratitude

Gratitude has been linked to a host of physical and psychological benefits, including happiness. One study even found that grateful people are 25% happier.

So whether you make it a habit to talk about what you're grateful for over breakfast every morning, or you write in a gratitude journal before bed, train your brain to look for the good in life. It could be the simplest, yet most effective way to boost your well-being.

Create a healthy mindset

The conversations you have with yourself have a profound effect on your life. If you want to reach your greatest potential, it's important to build your mental muscle. Exercise your brain every day and over time, you'll train your brain for happiness and success.

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