I came across books of emotion intelligence and basically how human behavior will be liked by others. This is the basic human skills that i came across many does not have. In school we have moral education as a subject and i believe emotion intelligence should be taught in school as a subject as well. The below article found to be very useful as well.
In a society roided-out on bling, cash, ego, nakedness
and status we have lost our authenticity. We have lost morals and what it means
to be ourselves. So many are caught up in following the crowd they have gotten
lost in it. How can any type of true success come from being a follower?
Followers are lost to their authenticity and are chasers of “status” and
“wealth.” Followers are competitive, insecure and consistently positioning and
provoking to one-up each other. The stand-out successes we all admire are not
in the crowd, they aren’t chasing cash, or being cool. It doesn’t mean they
don’t love nice things or indulge in them; it means they approach success from
a different mindset.
1. Self-reflective.
Authenticity cannot be reached if you are only looking
outside of yourself obsessing over ways to live in all the narcissistic traps.
To be authentic, unique and individual you have to know who and what you are,
which comes through self-reflection. How can you know who you are if you are
following everyone else? Self-reflection puts you in a state of personal
harmony, causing you to experience less anxiety. You aren’t worried about
another person’s position because you’re confident enough to focus on your own.
You have nothing to hide which allows you a freedom to be yourself followers do
not experience.
2. Healthy ego.
Authenticity comes from your heart. In life always lead from
your heart. There is nothing deep about being superficially better than others or
having more success or money because all of that “status” is temporary and
subjective. When you’re authentic you have the healthy ego fundamental for great leadership, rather than
the ego of an insecure competitor. To be the great leader of anyone or
anything, you have to dig deep, lead with courage and practice empathy. You
have to be secure enough in yourself that you are able to lead
while considering of the ideas and feelings of others.
3. Focus on possibilities.
When someone is ego-based or disingenuous, they are always
focused on themselves, the short-term, what they want, and how they can
manipulate to get what they want right now. They tend to be reactive and to
run their mouths to get results. They want things now in an effort to get them before other
people. They are agenda-oriented. It’s all about them.
When you live authentically you have no time to waste emotion
on temporary and sometimes necessary setbacks. The focus for you is always long
term and on what possibilities patience and hard work will garner when you
continue pressing forward. You are relationship-oriented. The authentic leader
knows certain battles must be lost to win the war.
4. Good character.
You cannot be authentic without first possessing a strong
sense of character. This means you do not say things you do not mean, promises
are not made you cannot keep and you stay in a place of integrity in all of
your dealings, in and out of work. The reason people trust you is because you
keep your word, you are not emotionally labile and people sense they can trust
you to be who you say you’re going to be with a sense of consistency. When
you’re authentic you do not take yourself too seriously and are able to
laugh at yourself. Lightheartedness is indicative of your state of inner
wholeness. Those who follow the pack are always anxious because at any moment
someone could steal their temporary glory, causing them to sacrifice their
integrity to “win.”
5. Visionary.
Knowing who and what you are naturally makes you visionary.
Because you are deeply connected to yourself, you are open and more innovative.
You have been visionary in the creating of yourself and this allows you to
bring that skill into all aspects of your life, especially business. You think
with vision, which always adds value to the people you interact with. You are
able to help others realize their higher professional goals. You push yourself
and those around you to consistently raise the bar for excellence.
Self-development is pinnacle in your life and you insist others delve into
themselves in the same way in order to rise above the pack.
6. Listeners.
When you’re authentic you experience fewer emotional threats
to your ego which makes you a good listener, even when someone else contradicts
your views. You are more than willing to consider contradictory ideas with an
open mind and change your opinion, if the argument make sense. When you are a
listener, you are a learner. As a genuine person you thirst for the truth. When
you are dedicated to the whole truth in any given moment, you live life in
touch with your deepest and most profound inner parts; allowing you to be the
full expression of who you are. This is what authenticity is all about.
7. Transparent.
Open communication is woven into the fabric of your
authenticity. You are secure in who you are and combine honesty with empathy,
which more often than not brings you success. You never leave anyone guessing
or hurting because you’re transparent. You are able to appreciate yourself,
flaws and all; making you self-confident and secure; not cocky and conceited.
Followers are always defensive. They are sensitive to criticism, easily
threatened and offended, and determined to win others over to their point of
view. This is the marker of their insecure self-concept. When you are truly
self-confident you exude a sense of inner worth, assurance and composure. You
are unashamed of your mistakes and don’t hide your weaknesses. You have the
courage to be who you really are.
8. Open and consistent.
When you know who you are you do not hold judgmental
attitudes towards others. As you evaluate the thoughts and opinions others
hold, even those you do not agree with, you still place them under an
umbrella of respect. You do not live striving to push others below you. You are
consistent in who you are, and have no need to satisfy someone else’s criteria
to feel good about yourself. This solid foundation is what makes you consistent,
and it is also what makes you so generous in your assessments of the worth of
others. You aren’t fickle. You stick to your principles and are not easily
swayed by superficialities.
9. Team oriented.
Being team oriented sets you apart from others. You build
successful teams and give credit where it is due, sharing your success and
achievements with your entire team. You possess a healthy flexibility; the
kind that is free from resentment and abuse, making you unselfish. You love
your team because you are inwardly secure, and so sure of who you are that any
change you need to make for the benefit of the team is a no brainer. Followers
are so selfish, insecure and out-of-sync that they get defensive and angry when
confronted with the need for change; killing the cohesion of the team by
highlighting their inability to blend well. Success in life requires
constant adaption. Those who master this skill are headed toward success and
contentment.
10. Draw upon experience.
As you strive to live from a genuine place you increase the
likelihood of being able to live in the present. You have learned to live in
more thorough and thoughtful ways, thereby creating less guilt because your
responsibilities come first and leisure second. You can draw upon experience to
work wisely through each new challenge you face on your road to success, making
you more confident that you will be able to handle whatever hardships your
future holds. There is no better teacher than life. The leadership skills you
possess have slowly evolved from real-world experiences and life stories.
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Shared by: LY
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